Earlier this year, I realized myself giving up on the idea that I will soon meet someone and get married, or the idea that this life I have is just a temporary. I think a lot of women in this world are living that way, and that may be the source of women’s underperformance at the workplaces (I am not talking about “everyone”, but on average, you see).
This is a perhaps very liberating thing, resigning to the fact that I need to live on my own for at least a while. I recommend it to everyone, truly.
I have been told many times by many people that “don’t get a dog, or you loose motivation to get married”, “don’t get any plants, or you won’t be able to travel or move”, and “don’t spend too much on furniture, you don’t know how long you will live there”.
The resignation, now that I look back, has probably started when I bought a 2 x 1.2 m painting in my new apartment. I have another huge picture on my wall already, and you cannot find many rental places in Tokyo where you have 2 huge blank walls. This made it difficult for me to move too freely.
Last month, I made a big investment on a dining table. It only costed as much as a moderate spec Mac computer, so it is not a huge investment, if you think that way. But it was big for me, considering I had been avoiding to buy anything that I cannot throw away. This table will travel with me through my life, and quite possibly to continue his journey much longer afterwards.
Last week, I bought a plant. I can’t remember what came over me, but I did. Perhaps you cannot imagine me having a green thumb. But I studied Landscape Architecture, if I may remind you. I used to take care of my mom’s kitchen garden part time.
Anyway, after getting a pot of hydrangea, I decided it was about time I grow plants. So there will be more.
I think I am really going to move out of Tokyo and get a dog as well. Someday soon.
とても叙情的なスライドの翻訳をしていたら風邪を引いてしまいました。
まあ、そのせいではないと思いますが。PCを２台気合いだけで持ち歩いていたからか（会社のPCが異様に重い)、雨の中20分歩いたからか、深夜早朝会社のメールをチェックしなければならないストレスか、撮影準備のストレスか、まあそれの複合的なものだと思います。１分でも早く治りたい。
最近、といってもここ数ヶ月気付いたことは、なんだか自分が１人で暮らしていく決心がついたらしいということです。以前は「もしかしたら結婚するかもしれない」とか「どこかに引っ越すかもしれない」と思い、今の生活がテンポラリーなものに思えていたものの。おそらく世の中の女性の多くがそのように暮らしていて、職場で相対的にパフォーマンスが下がることもあるのかな。（女性が優秀ではないと言っている訳ではありませんよ、もちろん。）考えてみたら結婚したとしても仕事を辞める訳ではないし、これ以上狭い場所に住む訳ではないし、テンポラリーに感じる理由がなかったのだけど。
思い返してみると、今のマンションに引っ越した直後、幅2mの絵を買ったことから始まっていたのかもしれません。すでにもう一つ幅2mの写真を飾っているので、そもそも２面も大きな壁があるマンションなんて、賃貸ではそうそうない。だから引っ越しも容易じゃなくなった。そして先月、ついにダイニングテーブルを買いました。これまで「捨てられない家具は買わない」主義だった私にしては大きな変革です。きっとこのテーブル、どこに引っ越しても一生使うか、使えなくなってもビンテージで売るか、死んだ後も家族が使うかすると思います。
だから植物はそんな流れです。以前から植物を増やしたいとは思っていたけど、ある日ふと気が緩んで紫陽花を買いました。ランドスケープ・アーキテクチャを勉強していたくらい、ほんとは植物好きなわたし。旅行がしたいから、それにどこに引っ越すか分からないから我慢していただけ。
まあ先行きは今でも不透明なのですが、なんとかなるだろう。ついでにペットも飼えばペットシッター頼めるのかな、と思ったり。次のステップはだから、東京から引っ越して犬を飼うことかもしれません。
Sparkles*United 
I think it’s si important to give everything we can to the here and now, who knows what the future will bring but you can enjoy your lovely table today :)
I agree with you, Sarah! Or I should rather say, I finally learned how to be “right here right now”. :)
Wow! “Don’t get a dog, or you loose motivation to get married” is not a concept I’ve ever heard in Australia! I think if that were said to most Australian women, the response might include a number of rude words, questioning the speakers sanity.
And what people say about furinture is also a surprise – I think the rental system and attitude to renters is much better in Tokyo. Here it is hard to get a 1 year lease, the default is 6 months. Yet women (and men) buy whatever they want/can afford. When they meet someone, they pick the best combination of furniture they have (and let’s face it, often women have cared to buy nicer stuff) and sell the rest on eBay etc.
The Japanese dedication & concern to care for plants well seems nice to me, but perhaps a friend might like to take a holiday in your house while you travel? House-sitting is popular here, even to experience a new neighbourhood in the same city.
Basically: don’t feel worried! Women in other places totally agree with your attiutdes, and would be surprised to hear the comments directed at Japanese women.
The person who told me not to get a dog was actually one of my male friends, and I completely agree with you. What a judgemental xxxxxxxxx he is!
I think Japanese women are used to, resigned to, getting less, allowed to do less, and achieving less that men in general do. I am not particularly a feminist, but I feel the above strongly especially because I am in a corporate environment.
Anyway, I really truly hope that house-sitting is more common in Tokyo too. Perhaps I should start the business here. ;)